“Nice car you got there Craigy boy”

“Nice car you got there Craigy boy”.
“Aye Chaz, braw eh? Took it aff Big Davie’s hauns, gied us a deal. Bit o’ a steal.”
“Chassis looks a bit bent.”
“Aye, but no bad fur a quid.”
“One pound, you got quite the deal!”
“Mare than the chassis bent, hale motor. Helluva expensive tae run an’ aw…..”
“4 star?”
“Naw alternative fuel – succulent lamb and finest red wine.”
“How’d you get the MOT on it if it’s so bent?”
“Dawdle Chaz, nudge and a wink tae big Donkey an’ he sees us right. Aw in the haunshake in these pairts.”
“Very patriotic paint job I see.”
“Aye – red, white and blue. Big Davie did a braw joab. Redid the inside, used tae be loads mare orange. Changed the number plate frae FTP 1690 tae EBT SDM. Pure dead classy. See the braw wee bear hingin’ frae its neck frae the mirror?”
“Hillman Avenger?”
“Aye, dinae see monay oh them nooadays. Oh, an’ talking o’ Avengers, he tried tae get that burd frae that TV show in the back o’ it wan time. Didnae go fur the flute music blaring out the windaes. Thought the beat o’ the Lambeg drum would get her goin’.”
“That tax disks looks a bit dodgy. Been at the clipart again?”
“Och, Hector’s oan ma case aboot it……gieing us grief the greetin’ faced get”.
“Penalty points?”
“Oan appeal. But got third party fire and theft oan it. Mibee torch it. Big Davie didnae want me tae break it fur spares. Loadsa memories.”
“Torch it! A vintage Avenger! What if your caught red-handed?”
“Aye, suppose so Chaz. That widnae dae. The wee bear an’ his pals might come get me an’ gie me a doin’.”
“Tell you what Craigy, lets do a deal. I’ll take it off your hands for 2 pounds. I’ll get some chums to loan us some cash to do it up”, after all it is a vintage Avenger. You can then get to drive in it occasionally.”
“Brilliant. A birl in it wid be braw. Big Donkey will see ye right oan the MOT. Just dinae take it tae Europe. These Krauts and Frogs will be all ovr ye.”

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